I want to share my reasons for writing this blog:
- I'm passionate about my purpose, place in life and ministry.
- To share my journey
- To encourage women of every age to find their place and walk in the shoes that fit.
from the age of 4 years old I have been passionate about singing. I sang in church all of my life it was my way of expressing to God my love for Him. Singing also helped me cope with opposition, it soothed me when I was upset, it helped me focus . In 2005 I noticed a change in my voice I was unable to sing and my voice tone even changed. My family and friends didn't recognize my voice over the phone. The first couple of weeks I thought maybe my voice was just exhausted and needed a rest. As time passed I realized it was more serious than exhaustion, I became concerned and went to an ENT doctor who referred me to a specialist in Indianapolis, IN. After much testing and voice therapy there was no sign of recovery. I was diagnosed with a condition called spasmodic dysphonia I became depressed and angry with God I couldn't understand why He allowed this horrible thing to happen to me. I cried, I prayed and others prayed for me but no recovery in fact my voice worsened. I had a myriad of feelings and thoughts. One moment I would declare healing the next I would sink back into depression. Many days I tried to put on that "nothing can stop me face", and I would keep busy doing other things I loved to do like interior decorating etc. But in those alone and private times I was broken before God with a shattered heart full of questions. During this time I continued to worship God and attend church but I felt such a void and loss because I didn't quite know where I fit. God began dealing with me more in writing and it helped me relieve some of the stress and pain I was experiencing, but I rarely shared it with others. Years passed and no change I became lost in my sorrow because my gift was no longer being utilized, I missed singing on the praise and worship team, singing in the choir, writing songs and harmonizing at family gatherings. I'm going to pause here and ask you if you can see a pattern here...If you notice I was focused on my pain for years couldn't see that singing wasn't my only gift and that it wasn't what defined me as a whole. For a while I quit questioning God about it and just excepted the fact that I would never sing again, One day I was talking to God while driving and I began to cry and express to God how unhappy I was. I told Him I wanted to worship him like I use to and that I missed singing at the altar and watching souls come to Him. In that moment God revealed to me that my worship can't be confined to my song because worship was so much more.... it is the anthem of the heart not a song. My song was only an expression of my hearts melody.
Knowing first of all that our purpose is to worship and bring glory to God, will prepare us for the journey. How we bring glory to God comes in many ways and in order for us to effectively walk in our callings our spiritual shoes must "fit"! Don't let others fit you for the journey make sure your shoes are specifically designed by God. God wanted me to pour into others not just with a song but through other avenues. "If the shoe fits" is a ministry of simply encouraging women to walk in their purpose not trying to mimic someone else. It's beautiful and refreshing to know who you are in Christ and to know you're walking in shoes designed for you. My Gift is the gift of encouragement and however God directs me to encourage through this ministry My heart will follow and my actions will reflect a woman fitted for the journey.
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Awesome testimony! So inspiring. Press on, Sis!
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